What’s one positive trait you’ve gained because of BPD?
Last Updated: 18.06.2025 01:25
I couldn’t, believe it.
Im kind ,and give many things, inc money ,to any of persons in need. I have a groups of homeless beggars ..i help out daily. They all know me by name!
It comes from Big T Trauma and is no fault of anyone who has it.
How often do prisoners try to escape from jail/prison, and how many of them succeed?
He said i reminded him of an old aunt ,who used to beat him, and when the menapause came, she was placed in a mental home and never was released ,until she died.
But i am married 43 years to my husband this July !
Ther’s very good reasons why i was left alone.
Can I use the LEG PRESS to build muscle?
(And it was in our own minds.)
I have no regrets .
We were all going out this night to a fancy resteraunt.
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But my sister and my other 3 brothers wouldn’t have come near him every again!
And who doesn’t know suffering?
Ive learnt so much.
Why do liberals think it is okay to steal votes while the rest of us obey the law(s)?
He’d bring us out ,and we would form the position .
I was scared of men, in general
Rather to engertic for me ,with my terrible health, but i was left to run the house, it was a Cottage in Dorset.
What are some fun/kinky things to do with your partner?
But it has taught me many things other people will , never know!
The only rule us 5 kids had .
Then he’ d take out his beloved lump hammer ,show it to the kids.
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Put me off passion for life!!
I will be 64.
Yes, a stroke or heart attack is the reason on your death certificate.
As she had lost her son ,to fatty liver disease!
She married twice! .
I let him have the joy of his friends( that i would never know myself.!)
What is your craziest/worst Halloween story?
My only sister also couldn,t make her life work.
Although he,d calmed down a bit ..he still shouted his orders at me and thought , my older sister would be better at the job..
Like some twisted love , they where addicted to each other
Are miracles real or do they just have natural explanations?
Especially a lifetime of it.
I got to know the terrible awful childhood, he had himself. And his Jolly Pub Persona.
It will be my last birthday ,as im dying of a brain tumor and 8 other autoimune diseases.
What is the most ridiculous obviously false verse in the Bible?
Why do we forgive? Because if we don,t
Because , i didnt have the heart to hurt my friend.!.
But people really die of the Big T Trauma!!
What is the best interracial stories that you hear or know and want to share?
Would this be the day?
So whats the point in blame.
But it wasn’t much.
Has anyone been tricked into having sex with a shemale? How was the experience?
His abuse (his own) began at 2 years of age. His mothers friend, sexually abused him, from the age of 2.
I might have to go back 30 generations or more..
BPD only comes to a person who has suffered childhood trauma.
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My place (mostly )was the coal hole..it was a small room heaped with coal .
I write beautiful poetry .
Another so called friend had bit the dust..
How does someone start doing urban exploration?
Being very nice and never wanting to say the wrong thing.
He weighed in at 5 lbs .I was the second born, and i weighed 3 and a half pounds.
I suffer greatly, because of BPD..
Who writes and reads novels nowadays?
One women pretended to my husband she wanted to see me for coffee ,and make friends.
Its a big thing in the States for the last 25 years.
She died young (from the stress and abuse of Big T Trauma) of liver cancer!
I immediatly know and see what their chidhood was. I tell them you had a awful time in childhood.
But im an empath, and i help lots of people.
He knew the spot.
I forgave my father, and i took care of him ,until his death in 1999..my mum left us on the 29th Jan 1998.
Anyway ,i could never hold on to a relationship.
My familys so full of ancestral BIG T Trauma.
I think the readers, may guess!
For him, I cleaned and cooked and shopped, and spent the whole day, doing a weeks work) in the only day off, i had, besides Sunday.)
He said i’d end up like her, and he laughed his big rolicking bear of a laugh!
A line in front of him, from the eldest to the youngest.
Its like, taking poison, and hoping the other person will die.
Why did i forgive my father ?
When she asked me how she looked .
Even in the coal hole, i said the lines in my head..
With Catholic nuns and Church on Sundays.
But im a psyci anyway, and i read energy and people, .
I was writing from the time i was a small child.
And, all my friends down the years ,where users.
I did it because my mum asked me too!
He was a brick layer (when he worked at all) and he carried his tools around ,hanging from a money belt.
I only knew my twisted world , and there, is no choice for a child but to live in it. Or Die in it!
Trauma never leaves you! Its actually lives in the fashia ,of the body .The connective tissue.
Because huge Trauma like mine is alive.
What did i know ?
And i know him well ,and every thing about him. This relationship, is the only real one iIve been able to keep!
My dad was a alcholic psychopath, and violent in the extreme.
And if you hold on to hate you only die inside yourself,!
But there where , these other acts only us 2 girls, would receive, (When id have rather had his lump hammer , and chisel.).
Insight, and i can spot a wrongin from 3 miles away.
I did write a poem about him though, and my mum.
I don,t even have a pension.
She found it foreign!.
As i do to all so called friends.?
We wern’t close any more, the family fractured, after my Mothers death, and seeing me annoyed them ,as i was the familys scapegoat..
I am a twin , my twin is a boy called Alan. I had a sister and 2 other brothers
The coal was sharp, and i usually had no underware! So my bare arse ,was cut and rossened on the coal..
I ended up cooking for her, and bringing her eveywhere with us.
I could never make a relationship work though!
He took out the hammer, and explained again, how the smallest tap ,of this hammer would kill me in a second.
My family never makes their pension either.
The apprentership one gets in Extreme Big T Trauma childhood is insight and extreme awarness.
Who then, do I blame.?
When he wanted one of his lessons to be taught!
I had offered the whole expense of the holiday to her, free.
So he went home with my mum to her 2 other children.
But he said ,he was sick of her anyway ,and only put up with her as i had a friend ,and seemed to be happy.
Trauma lives in the body, as ive explained, but it actually this that kills you in the end.
She stayed with him because she thought he,d grow out of it. He didn’t of course!
He’d sit me down, and stand behind the chair, Then he’d make a great show of his beauty (the chesil )and place it behind my neck ,at the base!
As i gave and gave ,everything to people, they began to use me.
Youll pack your bags and leave Dorset.
As his daughter ,he didn’t even think I wouldn,t do it. (Look after him)
And as she herself ,wasn’t kissed or touched as a child.
At this time i had honed my heart to the same, as that of a lion and i knew i wouldn’t beg or cry ,nor plead.
I worked then as a chef ,and a very good one.
Mine was extreme ,and lasted 19 years
On the 31st of Jan this month .
My life is so biszare .
I watched his eyes light up and his twisted smile rejoice, in his joy of it all.
Was to survive, this bastard.
I do have abandomment issues but they come from being left alone ,without my mum, or any of my family in a incubator for 4 months.
Anyway, i told my husband ,and he was gobsmacked.
We born here on earth , for the soul to learn , the contrast, of heaven.
This is how, and why children get BPD.
He resisted the act ,that day.
Also my liver and lungs are fatally diseased!
Thats being isolated in a house, locked up as a child .We never saw any people except in School and we had no relatives in Liverpool!
Its mostly always from childhood abuse .
One was a lump hammer, another was a iron chisel.
Although we always gave her a kiss on the cheek. She would shrink away from it!
It was going to be , some day.
Due to the real legacy of trauma (B.P.D)
The only way to get rid of it forgood ,is sommence therapy,
Those are used to try and block the pain, like that of my life out..
And as runt ,of the litter .Which of course, i actually was!
I had hoped to write a book about this .
We all went to grammer schools
And ive living now since 2005, on disablement .(Which is a pittance)
Im still living with it.
She was in good health!
I waited trembling.
The same beautiful brown eyes my mother loved so much!
That life, was meant to be , as the world teaches us great lessons, and leaves us many gifts.
He did pay me though, i made him (.After i’d trudged miles to get his pension ) Before ,it all was gone, over the pubs counter!
And when you live in a life , of being terrified, and shocked, and permantly stressed; especially as a child born in to all this .
I said to her
19 years ,i spent with dear old papa.
But i went to school ,and was locked up evey evening , until he was off out on a bender..then mum would set us free, and we,d be bouncing off the walls,
This is soul school!.
Then later on when my husband had gone to the bar..she started telling me, that they where having a affair, and that he loved her much more then me ,and other loads of visious lies.
Thats was my nicest nick name for him
But im dying ,and its too late for me.
Your thinking ,but those kids would have been street wise?
Im dying but, im not bitter.
We were not on the streets..
Do all the shopping, and cooking and look after all the dogs.
All the time i was locked up.
Why ? because Trauma depletes the immune system.you get terribley ill , with chronic disease from all the horror ,and stress of it.
.I left my 2 sons and my husband to do it. Instead of spending the day with them
I had many talking therapys , but they just don,t work.
She was deluded, and thought she could stay on for the reminder of the holiday!
Everytime, i saw a chronically ill person in middle years.
One of his many names for me was Runt .He like that it rhymed with (well you know)
I only stopped writing poetry recently, because , of my brain tumor
One cannot live in the past .
I of course replied” arh beautiful!
I never cut or harmed myself..
And i lived it daily.
My twin will have involuntary pissed himself, but not me at least not, that day!
You’d think that being brought up for so long, in those terrible circumsatances ,i would know the ways of people ,and the world, but i wasn,t in , nor of the world .
Im a true spealist, because i study it for years .And i still do..
She loved him until the end.
She said her life with him ,was love, and spoke to me of all the passion, it had brought her.
So, i spoilt her more .
Comes on , in middle age.
I was seconnd youngest,
5 of us kids, and it wasn’t a big house.
As i said though i will be 64 on my last birthday!
We could never speak unless he spoke to us!
She was a women, a mother with her own children!.
They are buried together, in the same grave..
One cannot hold on to bitterness.
Her first husband, had been a gay man ,and he was a lovely person.
As is all addictions, people can’t leave off.
You don’ t get a state one here , in England ? until your at least 67 yrs old ! Im 63.
He call us down, from where ever he stashed each one of us ,that day ! We were kept seperate.!
Where the ultimate outsiders.
She got all dolled up, but it looked as she was dressed up to play the part of , Florence Nightingale ,as she descended down the cottage stairs ,like a Queen.
I wasn’t taught any boundries, our home ,was like any war zone , and Dad told us, he had bodies buried, under the floor boards.
I was grabbed out of my mother hung upside down, and rushed up to the prenatal ward, to spend 4 mths alone, with, only medical staff.
I was 9 years of age.
I forgave my father,, and in those years i cleaned and looked after him .
And don,t forget my 4 months alone, in the incubator. Knowing my brother in the womb and my mother voice .The baby knows she’s alone!
My mother wasn’t a tactile women ..only as babes could she touch us. After we grew ,she couldn,t touch any of us.
So i became my fathers slave and he hated me the most.
He had many friends, who didn,t know the home devil he was, for his sake ,i never enlighted them either.
Im constanly in a state of FLIGHT or FIGHT my whole life
My mum and dad in the seventies!
We didn’t no it wasn;t normal life..we were isolated, and taken from Dublin in Ireland ,where our whole mothers family lived , to Liverpool in England!
His mum and dad ,were Alcoholics!
I was very sick at this time too.
They look at me amazed ,and ask me how i could possibly know it?
I was the most vunerable of my siblings. I was born small ,and was sickly ,and of course none of us could ever thrive!
But, we were locked up after school.
He isn,t a very sexual person at the best of times!
He was dying to do it , i knew.
I know ,a lot about trauma.
But ive been too sick for many years..
Stress hormones Adrenaline and Cortosol ,would have flooded my brain, and they never left it!!!!
She wouldn,t have been !
She died at 55 of colon cancer.
Took her away on holiday ,with us, my 2 pugs her dog, a Jack Russell.